Masters Made Me Hate University

12:30 pm

I've created so many of these posts and then left them behind, waiting to come back to check them over before posting. I leave it and then compartmentalise it. Only to return a few weeks later to write the same post again, just slightly different wording.
It has now reached the point where the draft posts are becoming a little ridiculous. This post is now being written and published straight away because it's important I highlight some of the issues I've had this year for future students.

I had enjoyed university. After my undergraduate degree, I had decided to stay on for another final year. Largely as a result of enjoying my time at university so far.

Little did I know that whilst my first three years at University had allowed me to grow as a person, my masters year would knock me down and break me to a point of no return.

This sounds a little dramatic.

But I went from valuing the course I was doing and appreciating the time the university spent on helping students grow.

This past year, I saw a lot. And my eyes were opened. At university, I was alone. It was me, by myself in my flat. If I didn't fix my problems, they were going to stay broken.

There was no support network. No one to make sure you didn't fall through the cracks. No one to really go to for help.

No one really knew who you were. No one cared when you hadn't slept in days or weeks. No one was there if you were breaking down.

I watched people I was close to breaking. I sat watching myself break. I watched whilst people were pushed too hard...

This year was a shock. And not a pleasant one.

Whilst I am in a way glad that the past year has caused me to open my eyes to the harsh realities of a broken education system and the world, did I want them open? In some ways, it may have been more beneficial to have left them shut.

But at the same time, I met some lovely people. I have closure, last year didn't feel like the end of university, I hadn't really pushed myself. Now I can truly say I have.
I don't regret going, I regret not preparing myself better. I went into battle with a knife, whilst everyone expected machine guns.

All this post is intended to do it prepare. Prepare you for the struggle. Every time you think you've just got on track again, you'll fall behind quicker than you can think.

Go ahead, do a masters degree. Do an undergraduate degree.

Just make sure you're prepared to stand on your own two feet. Make sure you're prepared to solve your own health problems, both mental and physical.

When there are only 24 hours in a day and you need 30... please don't push yourself over the edge for it. It's a number on a piece of paper.

You are not a number. When you push yourself past your limits and focus on the numbers, that's when you lose. You lose because you let those who want to place a numerical value on your worthiness win.

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